Monday, October 25, 2010

Afghan Diary: Preparing Without My Wife

A priest recently told me that despair is a way the Devil tries to destroy us.  Despair is like sin as described in Genesis 4:7 "a demon lurking at the door," alive and waiting to devour us.  I currently suffer the temptation to despair.  My wife is Kenya.  I will not hold her until I return from Afghanistan (which I have still yet to leave for).  I am also racked by a near feverish state as my body painfully reacts to various vaccines injected into me.  Worst of all, the apartment I come home to everynight is cold, dark, and empty.

However, all I need to do is to reflect on the current situation and the despair melts away.  Catholicgauzette is working with a development group in Kenya.  The NGO she is working for has a positive track record and she can only amplify their good works.  I will one day be reunited with her.  My physical and mental pain no where matches those of the saints, soldiers, and innocents caught up in war.  My time alone is a time for reflection, a time to give thanks for everything that I have.

Once I publish this post I will go back to preparing for Afghanistan.  This time not in despair but with thoughts of thanks and the promise of the future.


smeeko said...

Our family prayers are with you. I often feel bored about what I do and wished for more. In those moments, I try to think of those that are suffering and/or have harder crosses to carry.
Blessings and safety on your trip and on that of your wife.
Enrico and family

Eileen said...

You will be together again soon and get to spend many years in happiness with each other. I totally understand, I've had to live 1/3 of my marriage 3 hrs away from my husband but at least have the option of talking to him on the phone and seeing him vocationally. Completely cut off, I would probably go crazy. Hugs to both of you