Monday, October 25, 2010

Afghan Diary: Preparing Without My Wife

A priest recently told me that despair is a way the Devil tries to destroy us.  Despair is like sin as described in Genesis 4:7 "a demon lurking at the door," alive and waiting to devour us.  I currently suffer the temptation to despair.  My wife is Kenya.  I will not hold her until I return from Afghanistan (which I have still yet to leave for).  I am also racked by a near feverish state as my body painfully reacts to various vaccines injected into me.  Worst of all, the apartment I come home to everynight is cold, dark, and empty.

However, all I need to do is to reflect on the current situation and the despair melts away.  Catholicgauzette is working with a development group in Kenya.  The NGO she is working for has a positive track record and she can only amplify their good works.  I will one day be reunited with her.  My physical and mental pain no where matches those of the saints, soldiers, and innocents caught up in war.  My time alone is a time for reflection, a time to give thanks for everything that I have.

Once I publish this post I will go back to preparing for Afghanistan.  This time not in despair but with thoughts of thanks and the promise of the future.

2 comments:

smeeko said...

Our family prayers are with you. I often feel bored about what I do and wished for more. In those moments, I try to think of those that are suffering and/or have harder crosses to carry.
Blessings and safety on your trip and on that of your wife.
Enrico and family
http://smeeko.blogspot.com

Eileen said...

You will be together again soon and get to spend many years in happiness with each other. I totally understand, I've had to live 1/3 of my marriage 3 hrs away from my husband but at least have the option of talking to him on the phone and seeing him vocationally. Completely cut off, I would probably go crazy. Hugs to both of you